The Land Rover Owners Wife

To do or not to do – a bit of a dilemma

9 Comments

thelandroverownerswifeThis post has nothing to do with my garden, the school garden, family life or the Land Rovers. It doesn’t even relate to knitting or home baking and yet, in  a way, it’s about all of those things and, specifically it’s about some of the wonderful, friendly and talented people I’ve met since I started my blog and my need not to offend or upset them.

To understand my dilemma, I need to go back in time, to a period in my life when a lot of things were going wrong, my family life (such as it was) was in tatters and I was struggling to maintain a positive outlook on anything at all. That was the year when, at aged 17, mum and I first fell out and I left home to go live with the family of a friend. That was also the year when, just a few weeks after leaving home, I had a bad fall at Boots the Chemist, where I worked as a Saturday Assistant and ended up flat on my back for a month as the Doctors tried to work out if I’d actually broken/fractured anything. That was also the year when people I thought of as my friends, turned their backs on me because, in my moment of crisis, it was my mum that I wanted and not my friend and her family (yes, honestly).

That was a year I wished I could turn back the clock and try again, a year I’d like to forget and it was also the year I received something in the post, the memory of which and the tremendous strain it placed upon the vulnerable young girl I was back then, still has the power to give me goose bumps and not in a  good way.

That was the year I received a chain letter which promised me untold luck and riches if I passed it on to 6 worthy recipients of my choice and threatened dire consequences if I failed to do its’ bidding. Ordinarily, I would have thrown it into the bin without a second thought. But that year and at that time, I was in pieces. Immobilised in my bed, without means of communicating with my so called friends (remember mobile phones and email were the stuff of fiction back then), most of whom had apparently chosen not to support me during this time, I was at one of the lowest points in my life and so the advent of this letter, addressed to me personally, was devastating.

For the best part of a week, I worried and fretted about what to do. I had no ready access to writing materials even if I did decide to send out letters of my own and I knew that neither my mother or my sister would help me and rightly so. The sleepless nights I endured as I tossed the letter over in my head, the thoughts and concerns.

Then, two weeks after my accident and a week after the letter arrived, my best friend in the world at that time walked in. She’d left for a two week family holiday the day of my fall, had just arrived back and been told by another friend what had happened. She’d immediately dropped everything and rushed over to check that I was okay.

Half an hour later the letter was torn into a dozen pieces and was consigned to the bin, I had received the pep talk to end all pep talks and the worries and concerns of the previous week were forgotten. However, the memory of how I felt during that week still sits heavily upon my shoulders, as does recollection of the way it made me feel then AND the way I felt afterwards when realisation of how ridiculous the whole situation was, hit me.

Which brings me back to my current dilemma.

Over the last 6 months or so, I have been nominated three times for the Liebster Award and it is a wonderful thing to know that authors of blogs I read and enjoy, have thought my blog worthy of such a nomination. BUT and it is a big but, I know that to a lot of bloggers these awards have the feel of the old fashioned chain letter and to be honest, the first time I received a nomination, all the feelings I felt as a 17 year old getting the old fashioned, snail mail letter and the worry over what would happen if I didn’t/did send it, came flooding back. Also, I was very new to WP blogging at this time and did wonder if there was some hidden purpose behind the whole awards thing.

However, over the last few months, I’ve seen numerous versions of these awards proudly displayed across a multitude of blogs and I soon began to realise that these were a means for bloggers to show their appreciation for the time and effort other bloggers have put into their blogs. And yet, still I can’t bring myself to publish the post that has been sitting in my draft folder for the last two months which I wrote when I received my second nomination because I don’t trully know how the recipients of this nomination from me will feel.

Added to the mix is my very real wish not to offend in any way the three lovely, friendly and generous ladies who have nominated my blog, by appearing to ignore their nominations. So I thought that if i did this post explaining the situation, then you would see that I am both honoured and pleased that you felt I deserved a place on your nominations list but that my lack of response is not bad manners but is wholly to do with my own uncertainty over how other blogs I follow would perceive such a nomination.

To do or not to do, that is the question and as yet, I still don’t have an answer.

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9 thoughts on “To do or not to do – a bit of a dilemma

  1. You obviously had a very bad experience at a most traumatic time of your life however my thoughts for what they are worth are that these awards can be viewed as a good thing not only for the recognition they provide to you as they express the pleasure fellow bloggers have enjoyed from reading your posts but a way of you acknowledging the joy you have found in other blogs. The award is a way for you to use your success to help others gain the recognition they also truly deserve. There is no threat to you if you do or don’t feel it appropriate to acknowledge the awards. I had just this very evening added you to amy list of nominees for 2 awards but if you do not feel inclined to use this nomination I will totally understand. I hope you find peace with your decision whichever way you decide to go.

    • Thank you,

      Although my initial reaction on receiving that first nomination as a new blogger was to think it was a form of chain mail, I realised over the following weeks that my reaction had been an over-reaction and that, as you say, fellow bloggers had just been showing recognition of the pleasure they had got from my blog entries.

      My main problem is not wanting to appear to ignore a nomination when someone has gone to the trouble of selecting nominees and drawing up the questions, especially when these have come from blogs which I enjoy. Comes back to the ‘manners’ my parents drilled into me as a child I suppose.

      [sigh] Sometimes I feel that face to face chatting is so much easier than typing a comment. I so don’t want to have offended anyone over the award nomination thing and it really is nice to know that people think so much of my blog that they feel they want to nominate me, I just felt that not saying anything would be rude and impolite and may cause more offense in the long run.

      Some times I over think things.

  2. So sorry I have added to your dilema! I absolutely understand. You should absolutely not feel that you need to accept these awards. Unfortunately, because you have no awards displayed you are going to be constantly nominated by others who haven’t read this post due to the pleasure they wil get from reading your blog!
    I have seen other replies to other nominations, saying, ‘Thank you, I appreciate… etc etc but I hope you understand that time pressures and my wish to keep my blog focused on the posts I love to write means I may not get round to ….etc etc’. So maybe just acknowledge and move on.
    I shuddered when I read that nominations triggered such awlful memories. I used to get flash backs to the mental bullying I received at school. It was not until I attended a reunion 20 years later that those flash stopped completely.
    So please absolutely do not accept this nomination.

  3. I say, go with why you blog. I feel, for me, the nominations are lovely, but obligate me to then nominate others — that chain letter you described. And so, I always just say thank you and then do nothing more. I think in the end, the blog is about a story, connecting and enjoying pulling my thoughts and experiences together, all the while, learning something new. Awards are great, but not the carrot at the end of the stick. I’ve only met you via our blogs, but my guess is that you already know your answer.

    Now, I just dug up a bed of potatoes and am about to have a coffee. I need to contemplate my next blog…..good luck!

  4. I found your post very thought provoking and although each person’s experience is their own, I am sure we all have something tucked away that gets triggered every so often. I feel similarly about the awards – they are a morale boost when starting out and I am grateful someone has stopped by and liked enough to nominate but I now thank in acknowledgement but don’t participate by nominating others.

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